I am in the Denver airport on my way back to Boise. It was very difficult to leave today even though Mom is in incredibly good hands as Mary, Keith, Deb and Dad are all there.
As I was leaving the house, after a tearful goodbye to mom, Dad came out to the garage. I was driving Dad's car out to OHare. (Uncle Keith was coming in from Seattle and drove it back.) Mom had sent him out to make sure the "I-Pass" (automatic toll payer) was in the car. Even in her most difficult and painful time - Mom was taking care of me.
Many more times than I would like to admit, I have been annoyed at my mother for "hounding" me. Yet today, it became crystal clear to me that she has spent her whole life taking care of others. That what I have perceived as nagging or hounding was simply her way of caring for me and I was too independent and too arrogant to appreciate it as an expression of her love.
I am incredibly grateful to have spent the last 10 days caring for my mother. To finally have the opportunity to express my love for her and to really listen to her. I am incredibly sad that it required terminal cancer to bring us this close.
I am now at home in Boise, attempting to re-enter my "normal" world. I received emails from both Deb and Dad this morning that Mom's cancer continues to progress. The pain medication dose has been doubled and she has started on oxygen. Deb definitely arrived at the right time as her medical knowledge helps give the other care givers a lot of confidence that we are doing the right thing.
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Thanks, Amy, for your wonderful blog and keeping us posted on your Mom's condition -- and to remind us of how important is the love of family and friends. Your "old" photos looked much like many of ours and brought back lots of fond memories. Your Mom is certainly blessed with so many very special caregivers and you are blessed with a VERY SPECIAL MOM. Love to all.
ReplyDeleteJackie Meers, Ipswich, MA
My family is truly blessed to call Pastor and Jeanette our friends. We became close when my husband, John Hoffman, was diagnosed with cancer and even more so after he passed away. My girls Kelly and Heidi have had the honor of receiving beautiful hand made gifts from Jeanette that they truly cherish. They were only 8 and 10 years old when they lost their dad. After John passed away, Jeanette asked for some of his shirts. The girls gathered their favorites, those that really reminded them of their dad, and gave them to Jeanette. What she did for us brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. Jeanette made each of them a quilt and pillow out of these shirts. Kelly, Heidi and I are so sad to know that Jeanette and her family are experiencing this journey that we are so familiar with. But we put our faith and trust in our Lord and He brings us comfort in difficult times. We love you Jeanette and Pastor Moll. You are in our thoughts and prayers everyday.
ReplyDeleteIt is unfortunate that it often takes sad news to bring the extended Magee clan together, but I'm glad we have the chance to share these memories along the way. Our baby Jamison sleeps on one of Jeanette's wonderful quilts, and we're fortunate to have had a couple of visits with Don and Jeanette here in the Boston area over the last few years.
ReplyDeletePeace to all.
Thank you so much for this blog that keeps us informed. I have so enjoyed the pictures from the "olden" days. I have only known your parents as older folks so it is so neat to see these photos of you all. It is so sad to hear the news though. It must be so hard to see someone you love so much, in so much pain. When we lose someone we are so close to, it does change the way we see life. Your mom loves her family beyond words. How wonderful to have that legacy. We will continue to pray for good days as she continues this journey. May God give you all the strength and comfort during this most difficult time.
ReplyDeleteI suddenly feel the need to call my mom and apologize for also being too independent and arrogant.
ReplyDeleteI have been one of the Magee "out-laws", as Don dubbed us, for 40 years. The love has been shared in each person's way, whether it's through quilts, prayers, cooking or cleaning. What I really treasure is watching Don & Jeanette going hand-in-hand down our stairs to the beach before their Alaska cruise. It was such a complete picture of love and commitment. We are all fortunate to be a part of that circle.
ReplyDeleteMom is sleeping more today. The increased pain medicine seems to have taken the edge off the pain. She's sipping water, munching on pureed peaches, and broth with rice. I cannot believe the number of people here who are writing about the quilts she's made. I had no idea how many she had done. She also had a huge stack here of finished quilts that were for charities. She must have quilted 24/7. Oh, I just remembered going to the fabric store with mom when we were kids. It was sheer torture. We had to look at fabric for hours on end. (Or so it seemed to a young child.) She didn't quilt then, but sewed most of our clothes as you can see in the lovely photos on this blog! We love her dearly and it truly is an honor to take care of her.
ReplyDeleteI love to sew, and Grandma is the person who got me interested in sewing. (Obviously it wasn't my mom. I think all those homemade clothes scared her off at a young age.) I'm not nearly as accomplished a seamstress as Grandma is, but I know my way around a fabric store and a sewing machine. It is a connection to my grandma that I cherish now, and I will cherish forever. Like so many others, I have a few "t-shirt blankets" of my own that she made me over the years. They're some of my favorite items, and when I found out that she was sick, I wanted to make sure she taught me how to make them before she goes to Heaven. I got the pattern, and my brother has agreed to let me try my hand at it with some of his old shirts this Thanksgiving. So hopefully I can keep the tradition going. Those blankets have meant a lot to me, and clearly they have meant a lot to many others, too.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am blessed to have had Grandma take care of me, too. I'm also blessed that some of that loving, caring, and nurturing instinct was passed on to her daughter. My mom has been a constant support and source of strength for me through the years. I'm thankful that Grandma (and Grandpa) raised such a wonderful daughter. She has been the most amazing mom anyone could ever ask for.
Hi everyone. Goodness, it's been so long since I've seen all of you...Deb, I think it's actually been almost 20 years since you and your 'little' ones stayed with us in Lincoln...I was pregnant w/Chrissy and she will be 20 on Friday! My, how time flies. I am so sorry to hear about your illness, Jeanette. Please know that you and your family are in our prayers. We are praying that God will provide you comfort, strength and peace each step of the way. I've been keeping my mom & dad informed on this blog (they aren't so computer savy) and they send their love and prayers as well. We have such fond memories of your time in Elwood...those pictures of the 70's definitely bring back the memories. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are one special lady Jeanette, so loving and caring and it's clear to see your girls are following in your footsteps.
Love & Prayers,
Jill Remmenga Bartruff
Aunt Jeanette was there for Dave (Fischer) and little Teddy when Mommy Chris was so sick with cancer in 1993/1994.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was first introduced to Jeanette, she was called "Tuesday's Child" as that was the day of the week she took care of Ted. It was a long 35 mile drive from Batavia to Hoffman Estates.
Thank you Aunt Jeanette for taking care of Ted and Dave back then (and all the other people... you know who you are!). Also for you and Uncle Don for being there for all the family events and bringing those wonderful desserts!
I thank God for placing you into my life!
Love, Shannon
Andrea, I agree your mom is pretty cool. Let's see if you can outdo grandma Jeanette with your sewing products spread all over the world.
ReplyDeleteKeith
Hello everyone, I'm Matt, Deb's husband. I've only know the Don and Jeanette for 2 years but they are so wonderful and loving. Jeanette welcomed me right away with her love and kindness.
ReplyDeleteShe is so wonderful and loving and I can see how her children appreciate her!
I think I will call my mom and dad and tell them I love them.
As these emotions come to the surface I think I will stop right here! ;)
Matt Zoellner